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I can’t claim what I am writing here is perfect & ultimate. This is something from what I heard, seen, felt, thought & understood in my life. Only I can say that the resemblance of any character or incident is co-incidental. My writings are based on the fiction of my mind and not related to anyone.

I can’t claim what I am writing here is perfect and ultimate. This is something from what I heard, seen, felt, thought and understood in my life. Only I can say that the resemblance of any character or incident is co-incidental. My writings are based on the fiction of my mind and not related to anyone.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Symbols






“ THE SYMBOLS HAVE ITS OWN IMPORTANCE. BUT IT MAY DIFFER AS PER THE PERCEPTION OF PERSONALITIES” … .P.Kay

He came from too far…from the other corner of the country to take a decision. He was looking tired and timid. It was a rainy season….roads were filled with mud and water. Humidity was in peak as it is a tropical region. Even then  the land is blessed with the endless greenery and beauty. 
It was a small  office of Arbitrators. There was a compromise settlement going on. The room was already occupied, before he entered into the room. She vacated her seat for him and he sat in front of her Arbitrator.  His thumb ran over the ring placed in his middle finger. The ring was asking thumb as It is expecting some Miracles?
“So the settlement is drafted….have you brought her ornaments? “ her  Arbitrator asked him.
“Yes….it is with him.”. Said his Arbitrator. He placed the kit in front of him. One of the condition of the settlement was to exchange each other’s gold ornaments with few other  conditions.
Suddenly her voice from behind…..”The matter of ring is not settled yet. I want it back.” Every body turned towards him to see his reaction. Thumb convinced the ring that “ Relax & wait.”
“No..I won’t give that” a firm voice came from his end.
“It was neither in our settlement nor you raised in previous meeting that you have an objection regarding the same.” his Arbitrator argued.
“No I need it back. I don’t know the logic of keeping it again. Everything is over now”. She was almost screaming.
“What is the problem that you have? You have his ring in your hand. Let it be as a hope again over there” her Arbitrator said.
“No. What hope is left now which he has not shown in these passed 8/9 years of our marriage? Why don’t you people understand me? I don’t want my ring on his finger.”
He was keeping silent. He turned around the room to look at the occupants. Suddenly he found his kid was sitting in the corner with yellow sleeveless T shirt and black 3/4th knickers. Which he was not expecting as he had refused to come on that day. When he called, he came to him and sat on his lap. He hugged him tightly  thought “What she can do with this symbol which is sitting in my lap ? but he kept mum.  Her Arbitrator turned towards him and asked “ Why don’t you give it back? See the matters are almost settled. Now we should not create an issue because of this.”
“No I won’t give it back…and let her do whatever she want with my ring…I don’t care.” He replied.
His reaction ignited some hot talks between the parties and slowly started digging old things which was enough to create an explosion over there. He was silent. Because he was told to keep control on himself as he was already accused for his short temper. So he was silent. He was not daring to see the kid’s face which was partially covered by his cap. “ She need her Ring Back” Her angel guardian shouted at the crowd.
That was a winter day, when they exchanged their ring in marriage ceremony. They both got astonished to see the rings that it was in same design and the names were carved in same style. They both considered this co-incidence as a blessing of the God and assent for their love. They wore those rings witnessing fire and many people present over there. And it became the symbol of love and assurance. They felt happy and proud to wear those rings in their hands.
“Even he had thrown this ring once, then for what reason he is keeping it with him ? I need that ring…at any cost.” Yes we need it. Her guardian angel again endorsed.
How many time he has seen that ring removed from  her hand…in bath room, kitchen, under the pillows, some time under the coat, dressing table etc etc. He was always in apprehension that how much value she is giving to it. But didn’t say a word, Because he was told to keep silence at any provocation. He was the angry man and the culprit and having so many cases slapped on him on this basis as the trend of litigation.  But he never removed it un necessarily,….rather than once or twice. Yes once he has thrown it, when she down graded his self respect  and the other time he placed that ring in his middle finger from his ring finger. She questioned  even this action. He never replied that the middle finger has a higher position among other fingers. She has a higher position in his life.  Maybe his introverted nature or ego have stopped him to reveal  it. When the ring turns around and name came under the finger, she argued that he want to show others that he is single by keeping ring in this position. They argued and fought even in the position of that ring. But now he kept silence. After all he has to control himself. He found his thumb was tightly holding that ring all the time.
 All off a sudden the kid slipped from his lap and said…”It is too hot here…let us go out dad”. He held his hand with the ring and moved out. They were going down street. Both were silent. Actually he was not sure that what to ask him? After some time he asked him “Did u miss me?”
“Hmmmm” his son replied without looking at him.
 “You know dad will come in vacation and we will enjoy a lot….will you come with me?” He asked him curiously.
“ I don’t know dad” He replied to his father. He suddenly looked at his father and asked “ Dad…why did you say that you don’t want Mom”? His heart broken in to pieces. His mouth dried and felt a suffocation. For a while he cursed himself for not taking medicines by the advice of others. When blood regained its normal speed, he replied “ See didn’t you see how we are fighting? Didn’t you get afraid when we were roaring like predators? Didn’t you cried when we were fighting? He was looking down as searching something on the earth.
“You know son, it is the better decision, what we could take in this situation. Everything will be for good only. Now see no problems. No fights. Your mother is free and you are also happy with mom”…Right?
“Dad there is a shop……from there I can get an Ice cream…come soon”……
The kid was running shop to shop to find his materials. He again slipped into his own world by blindly following him. His thumb on his ring reminded him a lot again.  The problem had started from the beginning itself. God only knows from where the rigorous personality dispute emerged. Fate played its own  role and the surroundings too. How many times this ring stopped me to take a serious decision.  Now no way left.  It was the one who supported me in all these years to prolong decisions. How many time conversed with it in loneliness. How many time got angry with it? But every next morning it smiled at me as a symbol of assurance. Many times it has given me energy to pass through the furnace of tough time. A true companion of my life. It taught me the silence is golden. How many sleepless nights  have passed looking at it……..”Dad lets go”…his sound broken the thoughts again.
When reached at the court room Arbitrator was furious for his absence in between. She was creating a havoc that the child is missing. All were searching the father & son. Many felt relaxed after seeing us again. She was sitting at the entrance of court room. Like the student want to answer first to the questions of her teacher. The kid went and stood near her. Then he came to him as he was balancing his presence. He was feeling humid and was feeling restless. He looked at his spectacles and found dirty. He asked her a handkerchief, if she had one. She primarily refused and then passed one to him. He cleaned the spects and given it back. Again his attention went to the Ring which was asking the thumb  “ A miracle will happen or not”?
A loud voice came from inside for the last time calling their names. She moved in to the room and placed near to judge’s vision. He slowly followed and stood behind her. Arbitrators produced the documents and started conversing with the lord. He was standing with the ring gripped  by his thumb. This time thumb was asking the ring “ Any possibility of miracle?”. His mind was hollow and emotionless. Lord asked something to him, which he didn’t hear. But said his own name. Then they discussed and verified the documents and handed over to the clerks sitting down. She stormed out…so he followed. From behind his Guardian asked about her chain which was in her custody. He said it may be with our lawyer. She turned back to confirm it. He was standing alone looking at the huge Mahogany. Then he heard a  scuffle, so he approached them. It was of her refusal to give the chain to his guardian as she wanted her ring back. The voices became loud…crowd gathered…he kept them quiet and proceeded to that small office with his guardian. He said to leave it….but here the chain was connected to her emotions too.
She started bargaining with the chain as she need the ring. His Arbitrator told it was breach of settlement. Because she never said this thing or stressed on the ring. He was ready to pay for the ring….otherwise he was ready to pay for the chain. He got hurt and felt that it is against his professional ethics. He requested and argued. But still she needed her ring back. Her Guardian Angel showered him with Curses and accusation. It was raining like hell on him. He tried peacefully to make her understand to return the chain to avoid these kind of circumstances. Her Arbitrator seems worried, he pleaded him to return the ring…and got upset with his own sentiments. The situation heated up…..his thumb made its firm grip on middle finger…..and now both got a feeling that he was going to lose something now.
He got up and went to her…..shown his middle finger and said “ No one can remove this from my finger…..other than you”. She looked at him hesitatingly, then regained her confidence. She started removing it from his finger. It was not that easy, the finger was paining along with the head and heart.  After much difficulty,  she succeeded to remove it and got relaxed. When the Symbol of Assurance  died  forever, she returned the chain to his Guardian. He lost his control, not on her….his sound echoed the small room, her guardian angel was cornered by him and answered her curses. He moved as cyclone around the room with rain and thunders. She interfered and asked innocently to him that “ Now everything is over, then why should we fight like this ?” He told her “ At least you should  have respected my silence”.  When he was releasing his frustrations over there….again in front of his loving kid…..his father has become a Villain again.
Now the storm has gone….situation was calm….one of the Arbitrator asked her “Now what difference it has made? It was same and both have one in their own hands. What was the use to create such situation?”
“No….it is not the same” She said confidently. Then continued “ My ring has 8gms of gold and his ring has only 4 grams.”
When she was trying to convince and impress the Arbitrators that she has done nothing wrong. He moved to the kid. He hugged him and whispered in his ears that “ I Love You my Son”…..When he went out with heavy legs…..his thumb was continuously searching the blank place on his middle finger and still the search is going on………..

Created : 12th July 2012 - First published on 20th July 2012- Author: P-kay – Editor: SK

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Silence please....



Sister Maria has come ? Where is she ?

Yes Doctor…..You can guess where she will be……..

Hmmm…..Today is her retirement day. When the sent off party will start?

It is scheduled at  6 PM ,doctor. Nurses Association and Management are together conducting the ceremony.

It will be a grant party then. But it is difficult for her to leave after years of service in this hospital. She will be more worried for Asha….

Ha….She is spending most of her time with Asha now days. She lost her last hope when the Court rejected Hospital Management’s Plea last week for Active Euthanasia.

Their medical panel found that she still has strength in her body even after spending 16 years in coma. But Court allowed Passive Euthanasia on its conditions. It is true that her kidney and liver got damaged due to long medication. Because of the uncertainty, this Passive Euthanasia will be more horrible as it give a slow painful death to the patient. As one of the senior staff, you might be aware of her actual case history.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Reward




What is the day to day? 

I have lost all sense of time since they brought me here. Where am I? Only they know where they kept me away from this world. Dhud-dhud sounds of machines knocking the eardrums and smell of chemicals are piercing nostrils. Can it be some factory? Or maybe an underground cellar of their newly built Nuclear Reactor. Huh.. I am no less than a Nuclear Weapon for them. ..maybe more lethal and deadly enough to destroy a whole nation and its existence. My age has started gripping its clutches on my body with lot of diseases. There is killing pain going through all over the body.


Where can I find myself in this world of paradoxes? What is my authentic personality which I made for myself?


She may be worried about my absence now. But it is not a new thing for her for last several years. The wife of the most wanted man in this world. Actually, do I have a family like others? There was no permanent address since I left my country. She may be cursing me in the depth of her mind to have a husband like me. Not only she, my children too may be thinking like that. Their life was always under the shadow of fear and danger. My children will be safe now. They must be. These people ought to show atleast minimum gratitude towards my service to them. I was not merely an individual or an organization to them, but was an essential entity of their internal and external affairs.

Monday, February 21, 2011

The NET inset

A coin has three sides. The third side is the sum of both sides, even though it might not be so important or might look less attractive than the other sides. In context the third side is very important as it not only supports the both sides, but also divides them . So let me sketch this story on the three sides of a coin now.
ONE SIDE
Hey! What are you doing!!!!!
OH!…no…let me…how marvelous it is?
 I really feel ashamed. Please don’t do this
Oh honey, please. I have never seen this before so close…please fathom.. Let me see it.
Why are you seeing through the mobile cam? You are recording it!!!!
So what…you are not with me all the time. I miss you a lot. It is to see when you are away from me. Please take away your hands.
No. I won’t let you. I am scared.
 

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Sunday, December 26, 2010

In search of.............


This Himalayan cool breeze is soothing my soul.  It feels so wonderful to sit at the banks of Ganga. No wonder you chose this place.  It is so amazingly beautiful and serene.
Yes absolutely. I love this place. I sit and meditate here for hours together and I walk in this sugar sand till I get tired. I feel like I belong here. Ganga here, cares for me like my grandma…we have our own world and things to feel and discuss.
I know you were very close to Naani ma1.  I met Devika before coming here.  
Yeah…She was with me in my ashram when she came to attend Kumbh Mela2 last time. She called me yesterday and informed about your arrival here. She said that you were on a journey of self discovery of your spirituality.  That’s the reason I decided to meet you.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Lonely Hearts


Kamini you still come to this café. Nothing seems to have changed.
Yes…few things will never change in life. Do you remember how much time we spend here chatting on various matters?
Yeah….Puraane dinaanu kaun bhul sakda hei  (who can forget all those days?).
I brought your Mooli ka paratha …have it now.
You have not changed at all Kamini
Huh….hope I could………
Why don’t you marry Kamini ?

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Hearsay


ONE FINE MORNING
Ria…What have you written on these pages?
Don’t you know? It is Bun  Mamma. Miss told me to write it 25 times.
Hmmmm……is it Bun? You have written Bum in all pages.
Both are same…..Miss told me it is correct only.
Ria…You wrote it wrong. When you spell a word wrong, its meaning also changes along with it. You should concentrate and listen carefully when your miss tell you something.         Understood? B –U- N is Bun. Change it soon.
Noooo….you search Google and tell me. It is correct only.
Ria…Don’t you think you talk too much. Erase that M and put N in place of M fast. Otherwise I will give good thrash on your bum chick bum now.
Why are you shouting at  the poor child so early in the morning…look at the time….she is getting late for school… get her ready…I will be ready in few minutes.
Hey see….teacher had given her homework to write Bun. She wrote Bum in all pages and she is now unnecessarily arguing with me. Let her finish it now….otherwise even she won’t get breakfast today.
Do it fast Ria…otherwise Mamma will get angry and you will miss school bus today.  

Friday, November 26, 2010

Fortunate

What was happening at Aamina’s House yesterday? I heard lot of sounds from there.

Amma, she brought one new brand Maruti car yesterday. She was saying, the school bus is not regular and she is worried about the safety of the children too.

Hmmmm…..what to say…it is fate. Till last year they were studying in Government Pallikoodam (1). Now they are going to English Medium….for everything there should be a good destiny……..

Sathiyam thanne (2) How many time she came here to borrow money for food? Nowdays everyday getting Biriyani’s aroma from her house. If my destiny is good, then I may never come to this condition ever in life.

Monday, November 15, 2010

STOP IT !!!!



Indian made miracle in world medical history.  Breaking News. Two rupees…only two rupees….Today’s hot news.
Why is this news paper boy shouting and bursting eardrums? It seems the media has got hold of some sensational scoop.  Maybe a big blunder like someone invented petrol from the water.  Now a day people adopt many shortcuts to get publicity.
Good Morning sir….
Good morning….
Do you know sir?
What?

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Mauli & a monologue

Who the hell is banging my door?  Mauli!!!!!!
For last few months this harassment was going on.  It was Ramkaran who was responsible for all these things.  He created this dumb and now it has become my responsibility. I knew it. Lord !!! What wrong did I do in my life to get a punishment like this?
“Come in….Queen Victoria. Yes this way….this way….Can’t you wait outside for a while? You thought I died?Fool… she might be really thinking that I am her Durbaan to open the door for her everyday…. What I had yesterday? I’m having a terrible hangover.….just don’t remember how much I consumed.  Once it’s started then there is no end to it. What a bad habit I have. Really I feel I am a total drunkard now. In no way I can to sleep again, as this stupid will start banging the utensils in the kitchen.  Where is my brush & paste? Ok ! It is here.

Monday, November 1, 2010

MourN

My father told me about the demise of Prabhakar. I had just returned from a long trip. He was my neighbor and was my senior during my school days. A good human being Prabhakar was a civil servant and was working in other city. He was also a leader of some Employees Union. Father told me to visit his house. When I reached there, there was already a crowd waiting for the dead body. It will take some time for the dead body to reach.  I decided to wait as I did not have any important work at home.

The house was full of people. Prabhakar’s family is big and well known in our area.  He was the only son to his parents. I looked around and spotted Mani Shankar, one of prabhakar's uncles sitting. Mani Shankar was a retired Army officer. Other than visiting the military canteen & the pensioner’s club once in a month, his main past time was to question each and every irregularity and odds of the society and the system. He fought against red tape bureaucracy in all government departments. He had even filed several Public Interest Litigation (PIL) in court to regulate the system and its people. He did not believe in taking the help of middle men called “Advocates” in these proceedings. It was part of his policy and was an economical decision too. In this way he was famous in the locality. Visiting the court was his passion and routine too. There was a rumor making the rounds that he would visit the court even on Sundays and holidays too just to make sure that the court was really not working on those days.