Mauli & a monologue

Who the hell is banging my door?  Mauli!!!!!!

For last few months this harassment was going on.  It was Ramkaran who was responsible for all these things.  He created this dumb and now it has become my responsibility. I knew it. Lord !!! What wrong did I do in my life to get a punishment like this?

“Come in….Queen Victoria. Yes this way….this way….Can’t you wait outside for a while? You thought I died?” Fool… she might be really thinking that I am her Durbaan to open the door for her everyday…. What I had yesterday? I’m having a terrible hangover.….just don’t remember how much I consumed.  Once it’s started then there is no end to it. What a bad habit I have. Really I feel I am a total drunkard now. In no way I can to sleep again, as this stupid will start banging the utensils in the kitchen.  Where is my brush & paste? Ok ! It is here.

 Oh God what the hell it is? Who vomited in the wash basin? Who did this? “Mauliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii” My god my god what is it? I did it yesterday. What I had yesterday with that pumpkin head ? Hmmmm Vodka….ladies drink.. Chiii….Iet me wash it first…otherwise it would be a shameful affair in front of this silly housemaid.  “Ohh angel came…ok do it..do it yourself…. I don’t care.”

It is too much. I shouldn’t have done like this.  What people will think, if they come to know about this?  They’ll burn me alive in public with these books that I have written with great -great principles and morals.   What to do?  Nobody knows the pain in my heart. No one realizes the phase which I’m going through. It is an obvious action expected out of a great loser in life. Not only that, I cannot withstand long discussions without diluting my mind. I don’t want to be a party animal.. But the situation and profession demand these kinds of gatherings. It is not really possible to erase that thin line between reality and imagination without the help of alcohol. More than that the writers and artists are basically emotional cocoons and it’s difficult to merge different mindsets towards a particular subject. It is tough…very tough!!!

 
Where is the Cologne?   Still I do not like liquor’s smell and taste. But after having it, ahahaha…mind literally floats. Nasha….Where is soap ?” Maul…., Ohhh…it is here only.  Oooooh….water is so chilling; it runs down my spine, I may die if it’s directly showered on me. Need to find a way out…what to do ? Hmmm ???? Let me soak the soap in the water and start slowly from my stomach…no no…..from leg it would be better. One should not take bath in the winter, especially when Geezer is out of order.  Urrrrrrrrrrrrrr…I am dead…the cold has subsided now. 

“Papa…Are you a scoundrel?”

“What?”

“I don’t like you …you always beat my mother?”

…………………………. “Who said this to you?”

“I saw it from her stomach.”

“You had milk?”

“I don’t want to talk to you. You are bad. Never call me back again.”

Bullshit….where is the tap now? Aaaaah… I am burned …water is so hot. So the geezer has started working. When did she get it repaired? …….”Mauliiiiiiiiiiiii”….I will break her face. Stupid…she burned me. Why didn’t she inform me that she has fixed it? Ohhh….no wonder she is alone till date…not because of dumbness & deafness, nobody can live with this illiterate idiot. I don’t know why all these type of people come bang on to my head only.

The creator of all creations.  The most powerful & mysterious parent of human being. Mother Nature. She is the super natural power….what is it yaar….its looks repetitive……but I need to write something which expresses her strength naa… She is both a father and mother. …hmmmm no not right….Actually she doesn’t have a gender. She is both….Editor has asked to write a concluding line towards the end like this. What to conclude, who knows what nature is. It’s only the God’s assumption about nature. Nature is mysterious to him too…. we do not have conclusion for almost everything in life…Likewise it is difficult to conclude in this subject too. .She divided them so as to reduce their power. That was the secret of her creation….Its going more philosophical…better to end here. ..Where is the towel now……Oh I forgot again….What to do? Maulllliiiiii…hmmm it is hanging over my head.

“Can you tell me, when are you going to send the money? Otherwise I will have to take loan from others. Child belong to you also.”

“Stop black mailing in her name. What’s my role in her upbringing? You brain washed the child against me. You only spoiled her life because of your adamancy & foolishness.  I am just a live ATM for you now.”

“It is your mistake. You should know how to maintain a family and respect your life partner. Otherwise you shouldn’t have got married.”

“ Yes…The biggest mistake is that I married you.  You will never admit that your ego and over ambitions destroyed the family. ”

“ Stop it….Then why don’t you just allow me to get rid of this hell.”

“Hello..!!!!! Even I am not dying here to live with you. Okayyyyy?”

“ I know it. Your pen must have a good heart…but you are heartless.”

“I don’t need any certificate of goodness from you. You better analyze yourself and save yourself.”

Ohhh…God what is it? What is she is doing in my bed room? Why is this ghost shadowing me everywhere?  How many times I told this stupid to use a stick mope to wipe floor rather than sitting and dancing in front of me like this. .Yaar…why this fool is testing my self control…that actor is still in jail in the charge of molestation of his maid. I told more than hundred times… Ramkaran don’t do this to me as people will cook stories of their own. God only knows on what guarantee he left his dump & deaf with this frustrated soul? Why these people are so careless? If something happen, then these people will show their real faces.

What is the time now? Hmmm I have to attend symposium at Town Hall. Today Mr. Collins will attend it. They always look at the tradition and art through the commercial angle. Rest all are formalities. Shehnaaz raised a good point yesterday. Those may be considered as new methods in literature. Really it is a good subject to discuss. Change is part of nature. We cannot manage to keep the literature away from change for long. New generations are not much interested in writing. Most of them shifted towards the visual media. The change in attitude of people too should be taken into consideration. Nobody wants to spend more time to understand anything. Like a fast food, they need everything instantly. They don’t like to pressurize their brain too much. Majority need just read and forget type. Where is time for anyone to work on intellectual or philosophical topics? Majority of the writers are writing script for TV serials. Who can blame them? Who may guarantee that an art may provide them daily food in various traditional ways? So there is nothing wrong in it.

She already kept my shirt and trousers here. Poor girl for self, she doesn’t even have a proper dress to wear. It’s sure that major portion of her salary will go to her father’s treatment. She too was alone when her mother died. I should give her some money to buy new cloths for her. No…if I give her money, then these people will use for some or the other purposes…I myself will bring some cloths for her. After all she is the one who shares my loneliness with me.  Who is ringing in the morning?

“Hello?”

“Yes…ohh you? Now what?

“…….”

“Madam…why don’t you talk to my lawyer? Why are you troubling me every day? No. I am not going to sign any agreement.”

“See Mrs. Khanna…this entire affair started from your side. You fabricated the case of Domestic Violence against me. What did you all think? If I am alive, I am ready to fight this case even for 100 years just to prove my innocence. The whole world knows that it’s a trend now. Now you people have to do something different to win your opponents. Otherwise even the law would get bored due to this repitition”.

“Yes I know it. I too live in this world. I am aware about the torture and harassment against women. Fight for those women who are really suffering in this world. Not for those egoistic & boasting ones who are ready to do anything to satisfy their self centeredness. Is it a right attitude? Tell me one thing, you are dealing with me since last few months, do you really believe that I’m a person who would do such things?  What do you think? Don’t I have any feeling or pain?  What about the defamation that I had to face amongst the society? Do not be partial just on the basis of gender. Fight for the justice not for a gender and that too for a wrong cause.”

“No... I don’t want to talk to anyone. It’s all over. At each instance where I tried for the compromise I had to lose my respect and image. Now enough is enough. Ya…I have seen it. But don’t ever think that I am going to sign it. Let the case go on….we will deal in court itself…I have enough time for that.”

Hell…hell…hell..The bitch called me in the morning itself. My entire mood for the day has been spoiled.  I need a drink now.  Where is it? Mauliiiii yaar where it is my bottle?

“What…what is this? I don’t want any breakfast.  Bring my bottle first. Bottttttle…yes yes to drink like this.  Otherwise I will break all these things. I need it now”. Donkeys, if we give little freedom, then will sit on our head. Who she is to stop me from drinking?

Hmmmm…If I won’t get it, I may break her head now. I am not going to sign this document at any cost. She should never adopt wrong means to win someone. I am ready to fight this case till my last breath.  Let her do what she can. Talking about other women in the society?  How ridicule this life is. On one side some people lavishly spend a good life for their so called desires and ambitions and on the other hand some people are suffering inspite of have all qualities and dedication to their life.  Then why am I drinking? For what am I drinking?  It means still she is steering my life and fate even separated. In this way she can spoil my life from distance too.  No. I won’t drink. She can’t win me. What a big Idiot I am.

“Where is breakfast?  hmmm to eat yes. No drink...No” I will have breakfast now.

She is also a woman. What she will do if something will happen to her father? How lucky she is. She does not have the sound and fury in her life. She is living in a wonderful world of silence. She won’t get provoked by the sounds and shrieks. She will never get angry to hear the challenges. She won’t get upset when someone will curse her. I envy her. She may not have any complaints towards anyone. How disgusting life we are living in, we have all the facilities and fortunes. Her world must be full of peace and love.

What and where the things went wrong nobody knows. Can I say that I was clean? Can I swear that there were no mistakes from my side? No. I can’t. I terribly reacted to each and every provocation from her. We should not react to everything in this life. How many things we ignore in outside world?  All these years she was busy in teaching me her own importance and values and I was busy in my own things. I tried to prove my stand and tried to impose my principles on her. Now it is beyond repair. Why did I forget that everyone needs their set of freedom in life to decide about themselves?  In a family, there should not be any importance for individuality.

“Mauli…give me one glass of water please. Yes water.” Her food is very tasty. I never appreciated her for all these things. I was imposing my failures and frustrations on her by cursing her every moment at petty little things even as small as her for the amount of salary which she takes.  World of actions are more fair than the world of speech.

It is true that we do not have a single good moment to share in our married life. It is full of arguments, doubts, competitions and egos. The love was missing from the beginning. It was not good for a child to live in this clashing atmosphere every day.  In this way, her mother took a good decision to break my family. At least she will get some peace in her life, even though she posed her father as a villain forever. Now I too need a break from all these things. Every problem has its own hidden solutions. Normally we couldn’t find it because emotions may mesmerize our intellect. It is better to accept the reality. Little love and little peace will make home a heaven in this earth. Otherwise a house will be a concrete cemetery with living ghosts.  All this ego and fights are useless.  All must have their freedom to live their own life. 

“ Hello. Mrs.Khanna...its me.”

“Sorry for the previous conversation.  I was little depressed.  I respect her decision to separate on mutual understanding. I do not have any problem if she will get a better person than me. As you said, no need to fight upon a relationship that already died long ago. I signed your papers. You can collect it whenever you want. It is all over now. Congratulations.”

“No. No problem at all. It is all part of your profession. Thanks. Have a nice day. Bye”.  Let me stretch and relax for a while. What is the use of money and comforts, if we do not know the art of living?  For that we do not need lot of wealth, plenty education or mountain of principles. Just need simplicity and a big heart to accept everything in life.

“Mauli…..come here. Yes here.”

“Hey, I won’t drink from today. Ok?  Yes. Drink ya..this…bottle. Stopped.”

“Also this stupid will end all kind of stupidity in life.” ……………….

“Mauli, will you marry me?”

CAUTION: Usage of Alcohol and Cursing with bad words only used to illustrate a frustrated mind and his actions. Using bad words is not considered as good mannerism in any decent society. Consumption of alcohol is not only injurious to health, but it destroys the intellect too.

Created : 23^rd October 2010                                                                                                                                                                     

Author : Pkay

Editor : NM