Lonely Hearts

Kamini you still come to this café. Nothing seems to have changed.

Yes…few things will never change in life. Do you remember how much time we spend here chatting on various matters?

Yeah….Puraane dinaanu kaun bhul sakda hei  (who can forget all those days?).

I brought your Mooli ka paratha …have it now.

You have not changed at all Kamini

Huh….hope I could………

Why don’t you marry Kamini ?

Mei tuhaade utte bhoj nahin banaangi …(I won’t become a burden to you.)

……….

Hmmm…..so you were telling about Rajbir.

Yeah….unfortunately I was in charge of that investigation.

He was like a child during our college days.

Hmmmm….he was the only son of his parents you know….

You were in touch with Rajbir before this incident?

No…I was not aware about his whereabouts.  But seven months back one Mr.Sharma called me to tell me about him. He was his colleague.

So you concluded that it is not a murder.

Hmmmmm….that is the fact. It was one type of suicide.

God knows how he got courage to do such a terrible thing.

For this you do not need courage…the fear gives the strength and courage to do anything at the time of suicide. Most offences are due to fear…even the offences that are self-destructive.

Whatever it maybe.  But actually what happened to him?

That was a noon when Mr.Sharma called me on my personal number and informed that Rajbir did shit on his seat in his office.

Whattttttttttttttt ?

Yes. I saw him sitting on his chair in a semi conscious state with shit in his pants.  Mr. Sharma helped me take him to his flat.  He was loaded in drugs. .I think it must have been LSD or Cocaine at that time because there was no smell of alcohol.

Hayyo Mere Rabba !!! ( Oh..my alimighty !!!)

Hmmmm….probably he was addicted to that.    

Family problem ?

Hmmmm that angle occurred to me only after his death. Earlier, I thought it was something else.

Hey….he didn’t even smoke when he was one among us in college. Do you remember when he took puff of cigarette from you and vomited?

Yeah….but he had become an alcoholic too. Noone knew the exact reason at that time.  I admitted him in a rehabilitation center and tried arrangements to inform his family in Ambala. I was forced to leave that place as I had to follow up some other investigation in Jalandhar. When I called Sharma back,  Rajbir was already discharged from the center. I had a talk with him too. He was absolutely normal and was anxiously waiting to meet me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t meet him till this tragic incident.

Definitely I sense a family problem behind it. Did you talk to his wife & other family members?

Obviously, it was part of my duty. There was lot of rumor about his family life.   People said he didn’t have a happy family life. His wife was not living with him. She was educated and was working as a lecturer in her native city Ludhiana. Few of his colleagues told me that his wife was extraordinarily adamant and ambitious. Apparently, the two lived together only for few years in the early years of marriage. She moved to Ludhiana to her parent’s house to do her PSC and remained there.  He used to visit her once in a while.  They don’t have any children.

When I contacted her and her family members, it was clear that he was the one who insisted her to return to Ludhiana. The reason he had given was he didn’t want his well educated wife to sit at home and that he wanted to build a strong financial background. So he convinced her to get move to Ludhiana, get a government job for stability and better future. He helped her secure a permanent lecturer job in a government college.  It doesn’t look as if they had serious problems. They must have drifted away naturally…leading a life of virtual separation.  She is a quiet and reserved woman.  She didn’t seem to have any complaints about him.  Probably must have resigned to her fate and accepted her life as it were.

No doubt...she is lying. He must have been depressed due to her absence and family. You can guess that. Rajbir was a shy character. But was talkative with friends and near ones. There was no reason to keep himself distant from his wife and family. It is true that he was financially ambitious…but it’s not enough to dive into this kind of depression. How was his professional life?

That was the more confusing aspect. He had no problem with anyone in that company. He was a good team leader and a shrewd strategist too.  He was very updated and down to earth in nature. His Head of the Department claimed that he was a real asset to the organization.  In reality, he used to come to office drunk or under the influence of drugs. But they couldn’t do anything about it. Despite his addiction, Rajbir was the corporate brain, the master of all major projects and was sincerely involved in the development of the company. Everyone in the company was full of praise for what he had achieved but were rather at a loss as to why such an intelligent man was destroying himself with his habits. What I concluded from his professional life that he didn’t have any kind of depressing atmosphere in his career.

It is really mysterious….Don’t you remember he was extra sensitive than others.  He used to cry like a child for simple scuffles and disagreements.  He was more emotional and soft in nature. Then how could he do this? You must have visited the spot right?

Haan.. I was on my way to Chandigarh from Delhi when I got a call from Commissioner office.  I think someone in Rajbir’s office told them that I was his friend. I was shocked to know about Rajbir. The company had some doubt of professional rivalry and they raised suspicion that it may be a murder. So The Commissioner himself requested me to take over the case to investigate it. I accepted it as I too was curious to know the cause like you.

What did you see over there?

It was a new apartment…not the old one I had visited the last time. The lock was broken by the police officials as  it was locked from inside. Rajbir had been absent from his work for more than a week. That was nothing unusual, his colleagues were familiar with his behavior. A neigbour complained to the watchman about the foul smell coming from his apartment,and it was the watchman that had informed the police. When I reached the spot, he was lying on his bed. The room was filled with shit, bottles, syringes, rotten cover of milks, and some rotting eatables. The stench was unbearable.  Preliminary investigation revealed that he must have been dead for long.., more than 2 days atleast. Rigor mortis was dissipating and there were already signs of decomposition. Later the postmortem report showed that he had been unconscious for more than 30 hours before actual death..the cause being the lethal combination and overdose of alcohol and a cocktail of drugs.

How dreadful…how could he even think of doing this?  He last called me on my birthday when he visited here for some business work. I couldn’t meet him as he was in a hurry to reach the  Airport. Still I can’t believe that he can kill himself.

Even…. main nahiyo maanda ( Even, I too didn’t believe)….till I got that pages of dairy. These are the extracts of it.

“Dated: 13/06/2006 : I cant live…I cant live without you my sweet heart. That fragrance, that hot breath on my neck….making me mad at every moment. I forget all my worries in the flow of endless love from that golden heart. Please don’t leave me alone….sweet heart. I love you “M”.  Love me till my last breath ………your Rajjo”

Goodness !!!!!!  Kisi de naal pyar karda see. !!!!!! Hey he was in love with someone….who is this “M” ?

Yup….he was in love with this “M” …he was getting mad towards that love.

Unbelievable…..Phir kee hoya ? ( then what happened ? )

See this one. “ Dated : 24/04/2007..My “M” …how can that monster take you away from me ???  How did you go to that stupid monster…..please tell me. How can you even think of leaving me alone like this?  This Rajju will die without you. Promise.”

Hmm .. it means she was a married woman. The monster may be her husband.  

Yeah….your doubts have reasons. I went through these clues and found one more interesting thing.

What is that?

The monster was a female.

Don’t say this to me….Hai ram ….then it will be an unmarried girl. It may be her mother right?

Hmmm….Read this. “ Dated :03/01/2008: I begged her , Today I begged that vampire to give you to me. I offered her all my wealth and everything. She didn’t agree. She insulted me very badly. How can I live without you “M”. Rajjo will die. Your touch…your whispers filled my life now. My life is imprisoned in that curves in your body and those pearls of sweat making me mad  day and night. How can you forget those kisses you given me when I was in need? I can feel your strength…I can feel the energy flowing from you to me….how can I live without you “M”. What a terrible life am living without you.  She won’t leave you at any cost…even I am ready to kill her to get you back…Will you be with me ? Understand one thing this world is hell for me without you.”

Ai te bura hoya….(How sad it is….)  I think he sexually infatuated with her. He begged her mother for her…how she will agree to give her daughter to a married man yaar….he too have his family na… How he be mad after this girl?

You are right. This is the final one “ Dated: 10/05/2008  “M”….you cheated your Rajjo...how could you do that to me…you forgot all those moments which we spent together ? Why you told me that you cannot live without me, why did you give me dreams in my life…why you lifted me to heaven from the hell ? Now you gone with her….you beaten me in front of her….you kicked me out from your house….how can you behave in such way  with me “ M”….Dont you know I love you most in this world ? You cheated me “M”. For that I cannot pardon you ever….you should answer  my love…my faith on you….come back “M”….come back to me please….otherwise this Rajjo will depart forever…please come back”

So she cheated our Rajbir…she may have thrown him after squeezing all of his money. She cheated him yaar….It is homicide….not suicide. She forced him to end his life. Don’t you think that ?  Did you put this bloody Monoliza behind the bar or not ? Hope you caught her …..

Don’t get emotional Kamini…Finally I caught this mysterious “M” from Patiala.  It was not Monolisa or She, it was He.  He was Mohinder Kumar. A married man with his wife and children. Mohinder and Rajbir were friends for a long time. They were staying together at Chandigarh for few years.

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!!!!!!

It was the truth Kamini. I don’t know….loneliness in life or some biological reason, which provoked him to go that way. I think his wife was aware about this fact.  I don’t know this Mohinder was really in love with him or was using him to fulfill his financial needs. Whatever it may be Rajbir was in madly love with him.

Kamini… We take birth alone in this world. When we grow up we make relationships as a crutches to lead this life. We are social animals and are afraid of  loneliness.  Some people are strong and are able to deal with this loneliness and some become helpless or maybe Rajbir’s latent tendencies came up in face of his own loneliness.  Some relations are very difficult to get slotted or questioned in life.  I just closed the file as accidental death due to overdose to spare both  Rajbir and the mysterious M. Rajbir had chosen his way to live and to end his life and we are nobody to judge that.  Let him find peace in his death at least.

Hmmm…poor Raj…!

Created: 1^st December 2010

Author: P-kay

Editor: Ss