The Reward

What is the day to day? 

I have lost all sense of time since they brought me here. Where am I? Only they know where they kept me away from this world. Dhud-dhud sounds of machines knocking the eardrums and smell of chemicals are piercing nostrils. Can it be some factory? Or maybe an underground cellar of their newly built Nuclear Reactor. Huh.. I am no less than a Nuclear Weapon for them. ..maybe more lethal and deadly enough to destroy a whole nation and its existence. My age has started gripping its clutches on my body with lot of diseases. There is killing pain going through all over the body.

Where can I find myself in this world of paradoxes? What is my authentic personality which I made for myself?

She may be worried about my absence now. But it is not a new thing for her for last several years. The wife of the most wanted man in this world. Actually, do I have a family like others? There was no permanent address since I left my country. She may be cursing me in the depth of her mind to have a husband like me. Not only she, my children too may be thinking like that. Their life was always under the shadow of fear and danger. My children will be safe now. They must be. These people ought to show atleast minimum gratitude towards my service to them. I was not merely an individual or an organization to them, but was an essential entity of their internal and external affairs.

Nobody can predict when life will take a U-turn. If the position is too high, then the fall will be more fatal. My glorious days ended when the super power nation turned towards me in the name of “Staging war against terror”. In precise terms, it is the “War against own Errors”. The errors emerged due to their never ending political ambition to rule the universe. When it started drizzling on their own nation, they started eliminating the viruses which they developed in their political laboratories. Their diplomatic and strategic failures gifted ill fates to the millions of innocent people in this world. Finally the God father started battles against his own foster kids. I was one among them. I may be a dreaded criminal for the rest of the world. But for them, I was an undeclared diplomat, intelligence and a terminating machine for many. 

Is it time for my prayers? Don’t know. I myself don’t know how many times I do prayers in a day. The Almighty must be laughing at me to see my frustrations come out of my desperation.

My greed for power and money made me a Mechanical device than a human being.I was sold and told to assist many nations against each other. I was crowned the king of crimes and sometime credited with medals for things which I had never done in my life. I am not qualified to blame anyone. Like them,I too exploited the differences of world and people to establish terror in every part of this world. I became blind in this power game of others. They had a purpose to do all these things. That was to protect and to establish their country and citizens in the rich savannas of the world.But…but me??? What motivation did I have to do what I did? I shed the blood of my own kith and kin to satisfy my egocentric greediness. 

Why oh why did I become like this? Why no one could succeed in guiding me in the right path? Other than me, who was responsible for this sinful life? What prompted me to step into this furnace? Like every child I too must have been born an innocent. Then how did I become a stone like this? Who is to blame for all these things? In fact, I always followed my mind. So I cannot run away from these things and impose my deeds on anyone. 

Now I want to return home. I know my people will never pardon me for my acts. But I am ready to accept whatever punishment is meted out to me. It will not be throbbing when a mother punishes her own child. Her love must be more robust and divine than her punishment. Now I want to go home. I want to give a serene life to my family….even at the cost of my life. This body has nothing to do now. All the life has passed to satisfy this body and mind, but all were useless. Now I have to content my soul. I sincerely pray God not to give a birth like me again in this world.

Bad dreams are haunting me from last few years with full of blood, fire and explosion. How many times I woke up by the random cries in sleep. I never thought it must be this much horrible. There was no other way than assisting them in this terrible task as I was badly trapped in their commands. Since then my heart was bleeding from inside. Its every beat reminds me the terror and fear inside me. It’s the way how an emotionless man became sensitive through his own doings. The streets where I was playing as a child was spitting on my face and the place once calming my worries were cursing to give a birth to me. My own people got angry and parted their ways from me. Even after surviving many assassination attempts, I couldn’t escape from the fire which I set in my own self.

I didn’t ask for a reward from them. Did I? This country has given me a shelter all these years. Supported me and secured me from every adverse situation. They had their own vested interest to do so. Without me they wouldn’t have succeed this much in their efforts. Even it’s against my own mother land. Now they do not need more service of this old man. The time also has changed. New generation cannot accept the ways that their ancestors adopted to win proxy wars. People of both nations started realizing the reality. I too need a change now. A change is must for me now. They promised me to bring a response for my request this time. And I have reasons to believe them.

When I surrender to my nation, they may keep me in jail for years to prosecute me. Also the old enthusiasts may turn against me to save their skin. But it will not be a problem to me as now too I am leading an imprisoned life in this country for years. The attitude of this people too changed now. As I am not more useful for them, they too shall be glad to get rid of me. I know it is very hard to them. But my surrender to my homeland will increase their goodwill. It will start a new era between two countries. The good faith of new generation will wipe away the bloody history among them. This is the only way to get a chance to repent for my sins against my people and my nation.

Ohh…I can hear some boot steps. May be to shift me to other location or to release me to my family. The pressure of the situation may end soon.

“Peace be upon you.”

“May Almighty’s blessings upon you too.”

“Am I free General?”

“Praise to God…will be free very soon.”

“God willing…… Free to home or to my nation General?”

“We have brought the orders from the supreme counsel Mr. Don”.

“Thanks a lot General…I will be grateful to you. You know how excited I am to go to my motherland? I want to spend rest of the time over there caring my people and nation.”

 “Mr. Don Why are you thinking to return to your country? Don’t you know those people are dis-believers of our religion and abandoned by the God? "

“Huh…Its an old dialogue of us General. In fact, we are the non-believers of God, who always take undue advantage of a holy religion and its principles. We became abandoned by pushing a divine religion into the world’s gun point for our selfish intentions. I think my religion and people are more safe in my country than anywhere else.”

“If you will go to your country they will cut you into pieces on the spot itself.”

 “I deserve it. Don’t I? What I did against them for you people is more terrible than that. I will welcome all of their decision & actions whole heartedly without opposing them. I have a faith in my nation and its people. I trust their miraculous tolerance. You too may have felt it at your last attempt on my mother land.”

“Mr.Don, I am here to inform you that you are not permitted to go home or to your home country.”

“What ??!!! You only told me that I will get freed very soon.”

………………

“Then what kind of order you brought for me Mr.General?”

“A death warrant.”

“ohhh…is it !!! Great..The reward for my services to you people.”

“Mr. Don you know the facts more than us. It was a pure business which was going on between us. We protected you all these years from everyone for your services to us. In this changing time, it is very difficult for us to maintain you and your secrecy Mr. Don. The whole country is suffering because of our own past policies. The new generation of this country will never accept the ways which we adopted in the past. They do not need any kind of hatred with your nation now. Majority of our people realized it is necessary to promote harmony to progress ourselves. You know we always worked for the interest of our nation and its people. They will never support to protect a risk like you Mr.Don. Also it will spoil our reputation among international community. So your sacrifice is must for us now.We are extremely sorry to take this decision for good.”

“Mr.General, I am not worried about my death as I was expecting it anytime in my life. Can I meet my family now? Would you safeguard my family in future?”

 “No. We are thankful to your services Mr.Don. But we cannot acknowledge it publically. So we cannot assure you anything now."

“Finally I need only one favour from your nation Mr. General. Will you deport my body to my mother land after my execution?”.

 “It is impossible Mr. Don. We always rejected your existence in this country. You know the intensity and seriousness of our partnership in the dirty business that we did. So neither we nor the God father nation want to take any risk in this regard. ..............

We would like to inform you one more important thing Mr. Don. Your own nation and its care takers do not need your deportation at any cost as they can utilize your name forever as we would like to do. Therefore your life and death will be a mystery to the rest of the world……..Mr.Don, now we are waiting to hear your last wish from you.”

“May God save my family and my nation. May God forgive me for all that known-unknown sins done by me till today. May God save my country and its people from all evils………… JAI HIND.”

“Officer………..”

“YESSS SIRRRR”
 
Created: 03rd March 2011
Author: P-kay
Editor: Ss